Funny Tumblr Posts About the Mall

Submitted by gentleralts

Anna: So let's say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels around the world rise by, let's say, five feet, over the next hundred years. Say, ten feet by the next hundred years. And puts all the low-lying areas on the coast underwater. Right, which… let's say all of that happens. You think that people aren't going to just sell their homes and move?
Maribelle: …… Just one small problem. SELL THEIR HOUSES TO WHO, ANNA?!!! FUCKING ANANKOS?!!!
Submitted by Anonymous

Owain: Gerome! That was our last freaking $20!
Inigo: I thought you said you knew how to play poker!
Gerome: Poker? You mean this isn't Go Fish?
kazokuhouou:

Robin: I think your hair is growing out very nicely, Sully.

Sully: That's a sweet lie, Robin, but my post-mortem undercut is in that awkward friggen unruly lawn weeds stage. I've already shame-buzzed it twice an' need to woman up and push it through.

Henry: Besides, I think we've well established Robin as basically blind.

Robin: I can see Sully fine!

Henry: For reference, Sully is the red blur behind me who smells like she made out with a girlfriend shaped bowl of Golden Grahams.

Robin: I wish YOU were a blur.

Sully: Dang, there really IS no way to call someone gay without it soundin' rad.

Source is Dumbing of Age.
kazokuhouou:

Robin: Do I really look like that?

Grima: Yeah. Yeah you do.

Robin: Mmm, I'd give you a driving license.

Grima: I bet you would.

Frederick: Oh, this is how it all ends. Robin, flirting with herself. True love at last. [turns to Chrom] Oh, sorry Chrom.

Chrom, insanely turned on: Absolutely no problem at all….

Source is that Doctor Who Comic Relief Special
aragaki:

Is this a good offering to @incorrectfeaquotes

Henry: We're thick as theives.
Robin: Okay.
Henry: As juicy as burglars.
Robin: Stop.
Henry: Just a couple of dummy thicc stealy bois.

Source: tiemoose
Submitted by Anonymous

Virion: I am very handsome. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think "I have committed horrible acts".

Source: pukicho
kazokuhouou:

Donnel: Is it true that whoever wins the Fire Emblem off you rules Ylisse?

Emmeryn: Yeah.

Donnel: Can we fight you for it?

Emmeryn: It's a shitty job though. No one should want this job. Why would you want this job.

Ricken: Bragging rights.

Donnel: I want to outrank Vaike.

Emmeryn: Yeah, good enough. Donnel, rock paper scissors me for it.

Source is this absolutely hilarious Star Wars comic that's better than the sequel trilogy.
kazokuhouou:

Chrom: ROBIN KILLED MEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Frederick: Whoa. The hell was that?

Chrom: Robin slaaaaaaaaaaaayed me, dude.

Robin: Look, man, I just, I wanted the victory, okay?

Henry: He slayed you.

Chrom: You should have saw what he did!

Frederick: So the betrayal begins!

Chrom: I couldn't see because I was falling off the map but I KNOW he was up there doing the goddamn Fortnite dance!

Robin: Ok, literally what happened was, I was running and I jumped and then you just, you were near me and you just fucking fell.

Chrom: Yeah, ok, good story, the police are really buying it.

Robin: Yeah, they can look at my report, I'm recording it!

Source is Minus World/Hobo Bros

…Later…

Chrom, being stabbed: ROBIN KILLED ME AGAIN!!!!!
Submitted by tim94oconnor

Tharja: Where the Hell are my buffs, morons?! We need to buff the worst DPS so she can give off the illusion that she's good! Do I need to link the DPS meters again so you can see how right I am?!
-Ricken appears-
Ricken: Can I get a summon?
Tharja: …
Ricken: I'll just walk.
kazokuhouou:

Tiki: In the afterlife, souls can see how many living people still know you once existed. You, who had lived a fairly normal life, finally saw the count drop to 0 just 200 years after your death. 500 years later, 95% of the Earth's total population suddenly knows about you.

Anna, smirking: And they all know I sold really, really shitty copper.

Source is these two posts